I used to be a picky eater as a kid – up until college, really. My formative diet of mashed potatoes, cereal, and plain hamburgers (that’s pretty much the whole list) makes me wonder how I didn’t get scurvy or rickets. Ever since then, I feel as though I’ve been making up for lost time. Even better, I find that often, my favorite new foods are the ones that seem nastiest to most people. Snails, tongue, Marmite – all favorites of mine that inspire nausea in others. I’ve heard similar love/hate stories about kimchi (fermented cabbage), which I’m told is the most popular dish in Korea. So when, after years of hearing and reading about the effusive love and pitch-black hate, I got a copy of David Chang’s Momofuku cookbook, I figured it was exactly the right time to finally try my hand at this stanky fermented beast.

Yes, I could end up hating something that takes days of fermentation time to reach its flavor peak. But after reading Chang’s fond yet matter-of-fact recollections about the role of kimchi in the lives of so many Koreans and Korean-Americans, I’m willing to give it a shot.

A minor, yet oddly lengthy, note before we start

There are two ingredients here that are more difficult than usual to find. That is to say, Jewel or Dominick’s isn’t going to have them (or have heard of them), but I was still able to pick them up during my lunch hour in the burbs. It shouldn’t really be a problem.

1. Kochukaru (Korean red chili powder)

This flaky, bright red powder is sold in huge bags (about $4 per). You can find it (in Chicago) at any Asian grocery store – Chinatown on the South Side and the Little Vietnam (Argyle and Broadway) on the North Side being the areas that come most easily to mind. If you’re in the burbs, try H-Mart in Niles or Asia Super Market in Schaumburg, not far from Woodfield Mall, and Naperville.

2. Salted shrimp

These weird little bastards are vital, as they start the fermentation process. They’re in the refrigerated/freezer section of Asian supermarkets (like those listed above) – buy the small jar, it’ll go a long way. I may be incorrect, but I believe that you can also use salted squid or anchovies for the same function. Failing that, dried seafood may work as well. But if I were you, I’d try for the recipe’s first choice before taking food chemistry advice from someone with an English lit degree.

The Setup

1 head Napa cabbage, with outer leaves removed, and any discolored leaves removed
2 tbsp kosher salt
1/2 c sugar, plus 2 tablespoons
20 cloves garlic
20 slices of peeled ginger
1/2 cup Korean chili powder (kochukaru)
1/4 c fish sauce
1/4 c light soy sauce
2 tsp salted shrimp
1/2 c scallions, cut into 1″ pieces
1/2 c julienned carrots

I changed up the recipe a bit – used a food processor to try for a smoother texture. If the tiny little shrimp scare you or fill you with wracking guilt, do so yourself, you big pansy. Another bonus was that I didn’t have to mince the garlic or ginger slices, which you’ll have to do yourself if you lack that amazingly convenient piece of equipment.

1. Cut the cabbage in half, lengthwise, through the root end, then cut across the leaves into 1″ chunks. Toss with the salt and 2 tsp of the sugar. Let sit overnight, uncovered, in the fridge.

2. Combine the garlic, ginger, fish sauce, shrimp, remaining sugar, soy sauce, and chili powder in a food processor. Pulse until it’s just about the consistency of a thick dressing – add water if you need to thin it out. If you don’t have a food processor, just mix everything in a large bowl. The effect should be about the same.

3. Stir in the scallions and carrots.

4. Drain the water from your cured cabbage. Mix the cabbage with your marinade and cram all of that into an airtight jar (sort of like, say, this one). Stick it in the fridge.

5. I’m told from multiple sources that while you can eat the stuff after a mere 24 hours in the fridge, but that it reaches the apex of pungent/amazing/delicious power at the 14 day mark, thanks to the miracle of SCIENCE.

Updates as it ages.