Some people enjoy taking simple ingredients and elevating them into fine cuisine. I would much rather take fine ingredients and make them into the kind of food you’d get at the county fair.

A friend of mine who went to last year’s Taste hipped me to the fact that Graham Elliot was slinging these, and that they were a huge hit. I decided then that I’d have to tackle these bastards someday. I got my opportunity the other week. They were surprisingly easy to make, all things considered. I pieced the following together from an old cookbook I had and a couple of places on the Internet. The results were extremely pleasing.

You don’t need to get live lobster for this – as you’re sausage-ing and frying it – but if you’ve got a bit left over from a fancy dinner, the fresh stuff tastes spectacular. Otherwise, your local Jewel is bound to run a special on tails one of these days. The recipe easily halves (at least the sausage does), if you want a smaller amount. It’s not terribly expensive or complicated, and the results will punch you and/or your guests in the face. You really need to try this at least once.

The Setup

Lobster Sausage
- 1 lb cooked lobster meat
- 8 oz uncooked peeled shrimp, tails removed
- 1 egg
- 1/2 tsp kosher salt
- 2 tbsp heavy cream
- 2 tsp Worcestershire sauce
- 1 tsp seasoned salt, Old Bay, or other seasoning of your choice
- 1/2 tsp Frank’s Red Hot sauce
- 1/2 c frozen corn, thawed out
- 4 green onions, sliced thin

Batter
- 1 c all-purpose flour
- 1/3 c cornmeal
- 1/4 tsp baking powder
- 1/2 tsp paprika or cayenne
- 1 tsp kosher salt
- 1 c lager beer or soda water
- 1/4 c whole milk (optional)

- At least 1 quart peanut peanut oil, for submerged frying

Dipping Sauce
- 4 tbsp Dijon mustard
- 4 tbsp whole-grain mustard
- 2 tbsp Sriracha (to taste)

Cooking

1. Place the shrimp and salt in a food processor. With quick pulses, process the shrimp until coarsely chopped.

2. Add the egg, cream, Worcestershire, seasoned salt, and Frank’s to the profcessor. Pulse twice to mix.

3. Add the lobster, corn, and green onions. Pulse a few extra times until the mixture is incorporated but not mushy.

4. Place the lobster mixture in a large zip-top gallon bag and lay out a 10″ long sheet of plastic wrap on your counter. Meanwhile, set a large pot of water to a light boil.

5. Cut a small (1″-1 1/2″) hole in the corner of the freezer bag and squeeze out the mixture along the length of the plastic wrap, leaving 2″ on each side. You may have to do this a couple of times to make separate sausages. Don’t use too much on one sheet.

6. Roll up the sheet(s) tightly and tie off tightly at each end. It should be pretty near water-tight. Do your best.

7. Poach the lobster sausages in the pot (in batches if necessary) for 7 minutes. Meanwhile, fill a large bowl with ice water.

8. Remove sausages from pot and plunge into ice water. Let sit for 5 minutes, then remove.

9. Remove sausages from wrap, dry off if necessary, and cut into 1″ lengths with a very sharp knife. Heat your peanut oil to 350.

10. Whisk together dry ingredients. In a separate bowl, mix the milk (if using) and beer. Slowly whisk the dry ingredients, bit by bit, into the liquid. Continue until you have a smooth, thick batter.

11. Dip the sausages into the batter, letting excess drip off, and lower into the oil with a slotted or spider spoon. Use the spoon or tongs to make sure the batter doesn’t stick the sausages to the bottom or sides of the pot or fryer.

12. Fry 4-5 minutes, turning frequently, until your battered lobster sausages are officially golden-brown corn dogs. Remove to a paper towel-lined plate and serve with the dipping sauce. Gloat.