Ever innocently accept a garden-grown tomato from a friend or relative? Well, I hope you like them, because you’re going to get bags and bags of them until frost once again descends upon our fair city. Accepting a garden tomato, according to my calculations, is the mathematical inverse of feeding a raccoon. For most of the year in the Midwest, you get nothing but crappy grocery store tomatoes. Then, suddenly, you get pounds for nothing. It can be a bit disorienting – many can’t think past the first tomato salad or pot of pasta sauce. Gotta have something to do with this urban harvest of ours.

Here’s my two-pronged counterstrike to the late-summer tomato incursion: a delicious Southern classic to head off the unripe tomatoes at the pass, and a thick, sweet condiment made from those big, juicy bastards that are peeking just this side of overripe.

If you’re being really faithful to the Southern style, you can fry these in bacon grease. To my eternal shame, I didn’t have a half-inch worth for a 12″ cast iron skillet. This haunts me, yet grapeseed and vegetable oil both work great. But don’t skip the panko. It’s a fancy ingredient by some measures, but it’s also easy to find, not terribly expensive, and it keeps these way crispier than regular breadcrumbs.

The Setup

- 5 large green tomatoes
- 3 room-temperature eggs
- 1 c flour
- 2 c panko crumbs
- Vegetable or grapeseed oil
- Kosher salt and pepper

- 6 large, ripe tomatoes, diced
- Olive oil
- Salt

Cooking

1. To make the tomato jam, just add the diced tomatoes to a medium skillet with a shot of olive oil and a teaspoon or so of kosher salt. Bring to a boil, reduce the heat to a simmer, and give the whole thing about 30 minutes to break down into a jam-like substance. Take it off the heat and save it for when your tomatoes are fried.

2. Cut the tomatoes into half-inch slices and season both sides with salt and pepper.

3. Beat the eggs with 1/4 c water.

4. Season the flour with salt and pepper and place on a shallow dish for dipping. Pour the panko onto another shallow plate.

5. Bring a half inch of oil up to medium-high heat in a cast iron pan.

6. Batter the tomatoes by dipping in flour, then egg, then panko, making sure to gently shake away excess each time. Drop into the oil and fry 90 seconds per side.

7. Drain on paper towel sheets and serve with some spicy mayo or tomato jam.