Eating My Feelings: Week 5, Bears/Panthers

Eating My Feelings: Week 5, Bears/Panthers


Last Week – L, 38-17 (vs. Green Bay)
2-2 Overall (3rd, NFC North)
15th in Team Offense
22nd in Team Defense


I was at Soldier Field the last time the Bears beat the Packers there. That was so long ago I wasn’t married yet, and still carried hope for the Bears in my heart. So a pretty fucking long time as far as football goes.

The Mel Tucker Farewell Tour starts now.

This Week – vs. Carolina (2-2, T-1st, AFC East)
26th in Team Offense
19th in Team Defense

The Panthers are tied for the top of a pretty weird division, despite ranking in the bottom half for defense and bottom third for offense. But I’m not really in the mood to throw stones after last week. Win and we start the healing, lose and the meatballs start calling talk radio to suggest we tank for a better draft pick.

Bears/Panthers in 1995 was actually my first Bears game in person. It’s also likely one of the last few times my dad wanted to leave the house to attend a sporting event. Which … I go to a lot of games, I interact with the fans who get shit faced at 6 a.m. to take the Metra from Carey, and I totally get where he’s coming from. Anyhow, in true 1990s Bears fashion, Erik Kramer’s Monsters of the Midway welcomed an 0-5 expansion team and barely escaped out with a 4th quarter comeback win.

On a somewhat-related note, I miss Curtis Conway.

The Recipe


Beer cheese. All of it. Eat that Packers grief, Fatty!

My base recipe is as follows:

½ lb grated extra-sharp cheddar
½ lb grated medium cheddar
1 tbsp cold butter, cut into cubes
6 oz bock or marzen beer
1 tbsp Sriracha
½ tsp Marmite*

I then mix all these in a food processor until it’s smooth and uniform and pack them into one or two reasonably-sized canning jars. Night in the fridge (and you can even skip that), some club crackers, and it’s cheese magic.

But after last week? Scale that fucker up to fill six 55-gallon oil drums. Then cover yourself with it until it drowns out all news of Bears/Packers forever and ever. Luxuriate in the dark, cheesy silence. Enter the cheddar void.

Until our oldest rival stops eating our lunch at every opportunity, I find it hard to pay attention to things like the score spread for electric blue ‘90s teams. So let’s say BEARS 31-20.