MBQ&A: The Wing Warfare Denouement


MBQ&A: The Wing Warfare Denouement

Wing Warfare

Today, we’re doing something a little different with MBQ&A – namely, recapping the titanic clash of chicken wing recipes that served as our May MEATing. So join me, JB Mays, as I answer all the Wing Warfare questions that people have asked me since Thursday.

Oh, shit. I missed it?

You did. Shame is now your ever-present cummerbund, worn to a wedding of ignorance. You have failed your ancestors.

How many people entered?

Upwards of two dozen deli-sized tubs of wings made their way from the grill to our mouths. Others showed up with non-wing dishes that were nevertheless delicious, though they were not numerically scored. Others just brought beer, which is becoming a worrying trend. Lesson: Bring food, schlubs. Even if it’s bratwurst still in the styrofoam tray.

Did you get much variety?

Insane variety. Everything from Frank’s to cilantro to what tasted like chemical fire from the black heart of Ch’Turgga, the Beast Who Walks Like Man. Pomegranite seeds made a very welcome appearance. All in all, a complete tour through what you can conceivably do with wings and a grill.

So who won?

First-time ManBQue attendee Jason Gilmore – inexplicably dubbed “FreeJack” after the 1990s Emilio Estevez/Mick Jagger vehicle – brought an Asian-inspired facepunch with a dry rub and finishing glaze that blew us away. Unlock its secrets next Spring, when our shameless book plugging gets turned up to 11.

But it wasn’t just Jason – as usual, ManBQue guys brought the A-game. Multiple champion Tomax Gelman drew up a sauce on the back of his dog walker’s note (Greyson did #1 AND #2 that day – good doggie!) that took second place with pure flavor. Rev, the man who mounted a grill in his bicycle, took third with the aforementioned pomegranite sauce, which you really have to try once we post the recipe.

The numerical judging was incredibly close – a handful of guys finshed juuuust out of the top places. Future Baltimore chapter pioneer Steve “Cheesesteak” Mulbaiher, Max Bravo, and a bunch of guys turned out wings that were just as worthy of eternal glory. But double-blind judging is a cruel mistress. Suffice to say everyone left it out on the battlefield.

How many napkins did you go through?

None.

But two entire containers of wet wipes didn’t even last to the end of the contest. When the future sages tell tales of Wing Warfare, they’ll probably leave out the part where everyone spent the next morning repeatedly shampooing their beards.

Are you sick of chicken wings?

Impossible as it seems … god yes. Please, no more chicken wings.

What’s next for the June MEATing?

We’ll let you know as soon as we’ve secured our host. It will be a decidedly more freestyle event, though we’re thinking of encouraging innovating burger creations.

Just please, lay off the wings for June.

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