Nuclear Bomb Steak Sandwich


Nuclear Bomb Steak Sandwich
Are all sandwiches created equal? The existence of Vegemite suggests that the answer is a resounding, and disgusting, no.
VegemiteVegemite: Proving the mental illness of the entire country of Australia

The sandwich is a staple of lunches everywhere, from the PB&J in the Ghostbusters lunchbox of a child (or socially inept comic book store employee) to the corned beef sandwich at your local Irish pub. The varieties of sandwiches around the world are endless. Different meats, bread, cheeses, veggies and condiments (bacon is both a meat and a condiment) allow sandwich explorers to roam to whatever combination soothes the savage glutton. Clearly, some are much better than others. Which raises the question of how to rank them.

Corned beef
Made with love by a bar cook with a knife scar on his face

I am not here to tell you the perfect stack – merely to offer some help in judging. The sandwich which all others should be judged by, the tasty combo that has graced us for years (its probably in your child’s lunch box today) is the bologna and cheese on white bread. It’s simple, tasty and readily available. It’s both a classic standby and the unemployed bastard’s last defense against starvation (because Ramen noodles suck).

My favorite version however uses hand sliced bologna seasoned with a quality barbecue dry. You grill it, then before taking it off the grill add sliced Hoop cheddar. When it’s all melted and delicious, serve it on toast with yellow mustard, barbecue and hot sauces (Texas Pete’s hot sauce works well).

BolognaSomething like this, except not snagged off of Google Images in real life

Although this is one of my favorite sandwiches, it is not the world’s best. Only Sandwich Nazis declare absolutes. There’s always something better and more fattening around the corner. Another slightly more sophisticated interpretation of the above-described bologna sandwich follows, but use your imagination. Some say the sky is the limit. I disagree – the other piece of bread is the limit. Unless you’re some open-faced eating crackpot.

Who said a croissant couldn’t be manly?

– Dirt Man