You, readers and patrons of ManBQue, have questions about grilling. And honestly, it’s one of our favorite things to do to answer them. Especially because they’re often along the lines of “Can you grill X?” At one of the last events, a newer attendee was marveling at the variety of food, legitimately believing that the [...]
My Friday drive to work is always a great time to think about the week that was; Successes, failures and everything else in between. The week started off with a huge failure that was based on a previous success. Huh? Lemme explain: My friend George over at Whole Foods taught me a really great Pineapple Upside-Down Cake Recipe to be made on the grill. Well, I went out and got a nice, new cast iron skillet and was ready to rock it out. Problem was, I got the wrong size skillet. The American in me said, “fuck it, go big,” so I got the 12-inch skillet instead of the 10-inch that the recipe called for. Who would have thought those two inches would make such a difference? (Insert, “that’s what she said,” joke) They did make a difference and my cake was burnt to hell. In any case, when done correctly, this cake is awesome. The recipe is pretty easy so you can make it to impress your friends. If your friends are in jail, make sure to add a shank or a metal file to the recipe.
So I burned a cake I made over the grill, pretty disgraceful. “And you’re the Godfather of Man B Que?” Ok, fail. Fine. Well, there is only one sure path to redemption; make an awesome recipe. What can be more awesome than a Mac and Cheese burger??? I wish I could take full credit for this, but my buddy Metro, out in Philly, threw the idea at me, so in his honor the burger will be known as the Metro Mac and Cheese burger. This burger was deeeeeelicious. Email me, info@manbque.com, for the recipe.
Look at it, LOVE it.
Rant:
1. I attended an event hosted by Mayor Daley; he personally invited me. (Ok, maybe it was his P.R. people, but the invitation did say, “Mayor Daley cordially invites you…”) This was a day after he announced that he wasn’t running for re-election. I shook his hand and told him I was glad to meet him, but what I wanted to say was, “I’m glad you’re done, you crook.” Kinda like that Seinfeld episode, you know, “the jerk store called, they’re out of YOU.” Anybody? No? Really? Ok, moving on…
2. I was driving behind a VW Beetle with the license plate “QT GIRL.” When I pulled up next to the car, QT GIRL turned out to be an OLD GUY. They should make magnets warning people that the vehicle they are driving with the stupid vanity plates does not belong to them; unless they’re cool with being ridiculed and judged. In this case, the whole situation could have been easily avoided with a simple, spousal, verbal threat. “Listen here, first off, it’s a f@cking Beetle, that’s bad enough. Now you want to get some bullsh@t vanity plates that say QT GIRL? You must be f@cking crazy. No, not happening!” This would have been acceptable in 1952. Just remember, this is a rant, not an advice column.
3. Football season has officially kicked off! FINALLY! The ONLY downside: fantasy football has also begun. Ok, I’ll admit it, I belong to a league, but it’s mostly to keep in touch with friends out of state. We don’t have draft parties and/or bet money. It’s FANTASY. Nobody wants to admit it, but this is the same thing as Dungeon’s and Dragons. It sounds dorky to say something like, “my Zorknor Dragon just scorched your wizard, “ but it’s just as lame to say, “my running back just got me 200 points.” FANTASY football. You know what else is fantasy? Unicorns. Let’s call it Unicorn Football League.
4. A couple of Patsy Cline songs popped onto my shuffle playlist followed by some Etta James. The songs were about heartbreak and pretty much being emotionally run-over by a guy. Most of their songs seem to follow this same theme. I picture them being like those girls we all used to know that would fall for a guy, do whatever that guy wanted only to get dumped later on when the guy met a girl that wouldn’t do EVERYTHING. You know what I’m talking about. I do feel bad that two of my favorite artists went through this, but if they hadn’t, there wouldn’t be great music. Right?
5. My Friday workday kicked off with this phone call:
Potential client: “So, my brother was driving drunk and he hit an undercover cop. Do you think we need a lawyer?”
Me: “Yes. Yes. Very much so.”
If you’re in Chicago, make sure to drink and eat a lot at German Fest going on in Lincoln Square all weekend. Sunday I will be at the Bears home opener! Damn right I’ll be tailgating!!! Have a great weekend, people!!!
From the outset, the August Man B Que was a bit different. Traditionally, the Chicago Man B Que is normally held the last Thursday of the month, but due to our beer and burger pairing event last week, we were forced to have Man B Que on a Monday. I didn’t know what to expect, but it was truly a revelation; there is no better way to start off the week than with grilled meat and cold beer.
Along with great new members, this Man B Que brought out some really stellar recipes. Last month was like a burger cook-off, this time Ms. Piggy seemed to be the food of choice. July’s host, Ken aka Gululi, partnered up with August host, Magoo aka Magoober, to make a most delicious, kick you in the balls with spice, pork loin. They claim they only used some spice and chipotle peppers in the rub, but one piece of this and your sinuses were instantly cleared, eyes watering and you immediately knew that your butthole was going to be a burning volcano the next morning. On the opposite side of that delicious, hell-pain, were the 3 other great pork selections. Chris, aka Chairs, whipped up a smoked mesquite loin that was subtle but very moist and tasty. I, aka The Godfather, created a new recipe that popped in my head last minute; sweet cinnamon/cayenne pork chops stuffed with smoked gouda and apples. My personal favorite piggy of the night was brouth to us by Adam, aka Mooseknuckle. His tasty chimichurri chops were juicy and perfectly seasoned.
AJ, aka Meat Coffin, made his jalapeno popper, “juicy Lucy” burgers. Stuffed with cheddar and fresh, fully seeded jalapeno, these things were painfully delicious. The other two burger offerings were a lot safer but equally as great. Rick, aka Ricky Thumbs, made a stuffed gouda burger that was oozing with flavor and Dave, aka Mega Grill, made the fanciest burger ever to be devoured at a Man B Que; the Rolls Royce burger. This burger made your taste buds feel poor and beg for change under a viaduct. It was made with 50% duck and 50% sirloin; it had rosemary, basil, goat cheese and sherry. Mega Grill was un-officially renamed Thurston Howell III
John, aka JB Mays, made some awesome, tangy/spicy wings that were gone too fast. Joe, aka Cornfed, made some awesomely seasoned prawns that made Louisiana crawfish jealous. Along with supplying the Man B Que with Half Acre Daisy Cutter, Jamie, aka Dirty Sanchez, took few lucky MBQ members for a cruise in his 1964, 2 door Chevelle Nomad that was hiding a massive Corvette engine under the hood. All in all, this was a most excellent Man B Que and I’m very much looking forward to next month’s. Ricky Thumbs and Tom Grilling will be the hosting on Sept. 30th at their Logan Square Rock and Roll Cave. (Email info@manbque.com for the address)
We’re men, popping some aspirin and drinking water is NOT going to cure your hangover. The Man B Que secret involves a haircut or a shave, an ice cold PBR and a kick-ass Man B Que burger. We guarantee* your hangover will be gone, instantly. Stop over at Joe’s Barber Shop every three weeks and order up a Hangover Shave!
We’re men, popping some aspirin and drinking water is NOT going to cure your hangover. The Man B Que secret involves a haircut or a shave, an ice cold PBR and a kick-ass Man B Que burger. We guarantee* your hangover will be gone, instantly. Stop over at Joe’s Barber Shop every three weeks and order up a Hangover Shave!
We’re men, popping some aspirin and drinking water is NOT going to cure your hangover. The Man B Que secret involves a haircut or a shave, an ice cold PBR and a kick-ass Man B Que burger. We guarantee* your hangover will be gone, instantly. Stop over at Joe’s Barber Shop every three weeks and order up a Hangover Shave!
I’ve raved a few times about a certain pub here in Dayton that serves Greek food and how much I love their Souvlaki. But, I don’t always feel like driving across town to get it. Since it’s grilling season, I may as well step to my Weber and learn to make it myself, tzatziki sauce and all. It was not only easier than I thought, but much more delicious than expected. Most of the prep is done the night before, in order to let flavors meld and marinate, and even that only takes about 20 minutes. So, when you get ready for dinner the next day, all you have to do is toss it on the grill.
Here’s what you’ll need (serves 4):
For the marinade:
1/2 C olive oil
1/2 red onion, finely diced
2 tbsp balsamic vinegar
2 tsp oregano
1/2 tsp sage
juice of 1/2 a fresh lemon
2 cloves garlic, minced or finely chopped
1 tsp salt
1/4 tsp pepper
For the tzatziki sauce:
1/2 English cucumber
1 C Greek yogurt
4 cloves garlic, minced
2 tbsp lemon juice
2 tbsp olive oil
1/2 tsp pepper
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp sage
1/2 tsp coriander
4 butterfly pork loin chops, trimmed of all fat and cut into 1″ cubes
4+ whole wheat pitas
Mix all of the marinade ingredients together in an air-tight container and place the pork cubes in the same container. Shake it up to make sure they’re all coated and stick it in the fridge.
For the sauce, chop your cucumber a bit and toss it into the food processor until it looks about grated. Empty that into another air-tight container, add all other ingredients, stir and let it mingle overnight.
Before you’re ready to grill, thread the marinated pork cubes onto skewers (if using wooden skewers, soak in water for at least 30 min). Grill about 12-15 minutes total, or until browned on all sides and cooked through.
You may want to re-season the sauce before serving. Since all of the flavors don’t jive until sitting overnight, it’s hard to tell how it’s going to come out until just before serving.
Serve with pita wedges, diced tomato and feta cheese.
Here it is, an Old School, summer BBQ. Get ready for grilled goodness!!! We’re going to be cooking up big-ass Man B Que burgers, hot dogs, bbq chicken, bbq beans and every other bbq food you can imagine. What better way to spend a Saturday afternoon?
How much, you ask? $20 gets you ALL YOU CAN EAT food, 3 beer tickets. There will also be cheap Royal Crown summer cocktails AND the Crown Royal Girls will be around giving out samples. You can’t beat that, nope, YOU CAN’T!
It has been suggested that perhaps I offered a low-key introduction of myself as music writer on the Manliest Blog Of Them All. I stand by my love of Buena Vista, yet here, as a sort of reintroduction, is a collection of videos from 5 of the metalest bands I have seen. Metal and I have a long, long history. My first concert was a Cannibal Corpse show Junior year of high school, and if I get in a room quiet enough, I’m fairly certain I can still hear the amp ringing. That’s how you know the metal is in your head. Here are 5 kickass videos from those days, before rap-rock and tribal tats made society collectively douchier.
Black Sabbath – “War Pigs”
Believe it or not, Ozzy Osbourne was not always a shambling joke of a man. Or if he was, at least he had the foresight not to wave that shit around in public. I saw the original Black Sabbath lineup a mere handful of months before Ozzy stopped being Ozzy Osbourne and started being That Hilarious Mumbling Guy With The Shrew Wife. I sort of wish I could forget everything from Ozzy after 1998. “War Pigs” is still sweet, though.
The Haunted – “Bury Your Dead”
I swear, this band was sent down from Central Casting. They’re exactly – EXACTLY – what you think of when you think of European metal. They’ve still got the melodic guitars, but they scream like everyone in every metal band was legally required to do at the turn of the century. Imagine going to your first concert, and seeing the first opening band, and the bald, glowering singer comes up and says, in a heavy Swedish accent: “This is from our album, ‘The Haunted Made Me Do it.’ It’s called Bury. Your. Dead.” If you wrote that scene in a movie about metal, people would think it was lazy and unoriginal. It’s pretty much exactly what The Haunted does every night.
Tool – “Parabola”
Oh for the days when children could still be traumatized by something on basic cable. Growing up, Tool’s early videos did just that. Now MTV is all horrible shows about people from New Jersey. Where’s the metal, you bastards?
Meshuggah – “New Millenium Cyanide Christ”
Yes it sounds like the song title was made on a Norweigan metal magnetic poetry set, but the timing in this song is unreal. The clear lack of a budget in this video makes them look slightly ridiculous, but rest assured, they will fuck your world up.
Hatebreed – “Last Breath”
Short and sweet. When you bought a Hatebreed album, you were lucky if it went past 30 minutes. I imagine it would be hard to produce this kind of aggression over a double album.
Okay, so we’ve covered Cuban music and screaming, fiery heavy metal. Next up: Everything else.
Unless you’re at a Middle Ages themed restaurant with jousters, grilling is the only time where it’s okay to eat with your hands. Which is a shame – there’s just something about hamburger juice running down your hands and barbeque sauce on your cheeks. Who needs plates and utensils? Most of the time we grillers will throw on chicken legs, wings, or – if we have the time – smoke an entire chicken. The bone and skin helps the meat keep its juices.
So you want to impress your party, friends or in-laws with your grilling skills and they only eat chicken and won’t touch food with their hands (yeah, lame I know). Throwing some legs smothered in barbeque sauce may be tasty, but isn’t an aesthetically appealing dish. Attempting to cook boneless skinless chicken breasts without proper technique usually ends up in a dry flavorless dish. Instead, prepare them a Citrus Chicken Roll – not only is it nice looking sliced up on a plate – it’s actually moist and great tasting. The citrus from the chicken pairs great with Red Stripe or Corona.
The Setup
4 boneless skinless chicken breasts
1/4 c fresh lemon juice
2 tbsp olive oil
1 tbsp butter
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 tsp pepper
1/3 c finely chopped fresh Italian parley
2 tbsp grated Parmesan cheese
2 tbsp shredded Asiago cheese
1 tsp finely grated lemon peel
2 large cloves garlic, minced
16 toothpicks, soaked in water for at least 15 minutes
Cooking
1. Pound chicken to 3/8 inch thickness and place into 11×7 casserole dish.
2. Combine lemon juice, 1 tablespoon olive oil, salt and pepper and pour over the chicken. Make sure chicken is coated in mixture and marinate in refrigerator at least 30 minutes.
3. Prepare grill for 3 zone cooking (High, Medium, Low).
4. Combine parsley, cheeses, chives, lemon peel, butter, garlic and 1 tablespoon olive oil in small bowl. Throw out the chicken marinade. Spread 1/4 of parsley mixture over each chicken breast, leaving around an inch around the edges.
5. Starting at narrow end, roll chicken to enclose filling and secure with toothpicks.
6. Grill chicken over high heat, covered, for 2 minutes on each side. Move chicken over to medium zone and cook until done. If chicken starts to brown move to cooler zone. Cooking time is 20-30 minutes.
7. Let rest, squirt lemon juice over, remove toothpicks and eat with a Red Stripe.
That phrase doesn’t exactly conjure the image of men grilling out, smoking cigars, and drinking beer. But it happened, and actually it was green beer, around St. Patrick’s Day. Men do use crock pots – and why not? The food is ready when you get home from work, and it’s an easy process, requiring you to do roughly nothing between returning from the grind and consuming a good meal with a cold beer. Of course there are many recipes as complex as assembling a small engine – but who needs those? I say keep it simple. Italian beef – keeping it simple.
Cornish hens – simple. Ten-layer tortilla stack – not simple.
As we were talking about our recipes that dreary St. Paddy’s weekend, it became clear that men like meat cooked slowly, cut up, and placed on some sort of bread. Not exactly a revelation, but an important realization.
Here may be the most uncomplicated recipe for slow cooked pulled pork I have ever come across courtesy of Michael “Tripod” Palm from the Chicago Western Burbs Man B Que Chapter. It doesn’t require a rub, hours of loading coals into a smoker or grill, making of a sauce, or the need to call your butcher for a pig. I say let your neighbors smell the delicious swine all day, then tell them “yes I like pig, and no you can’t have any.”
The Setup
1 bottle quality root beer
Pork tenderloin or loin
1 bottle BBQ sauce
Salt and pepper
Buns
I’ve tried to keep things in a Chicago theme by using Goose Island
root beer and Sweet Baby Ray’s BBQ sauce.
Cooking
1. Trim fat from pork and place in crock pot.
2.Pour bottle of root beer over pork. Season the meat with salt and pepper.
3. Cook on low for 7-8 hours.
4. Shred pork and mix with BBQ Sauce. Serve on a bun alongside chips and potato salad.
Yes, it really is that easy. As you can see from the pictures I only used ½ of the loin that is
shown in the set up shot. I probably could have cut the loin in half and fit it, but then I’d be eating pork sandwiches for a week.
Thanks to the power of Facebook, I was recently united with a high school classmate-turned-chef – Tim Fein. He suggested that his marinade recipe would hold up at any grilling event and could be used with any meat. I wondered if this marinate would really stand up to Man B Que standards so I decided to try it out on my new grill.
The Setup
A Fine Fein Marinade
3 c v8 juice
2 shots whiskey (2 oz.)
2 tbsp balsamic vinegar
1 tbsp honey
¾ c oil
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 tbsp minced shallot
2 limes, juiced
3 tbsp of minced fresh cilantro
Salt and pepper
Cooking
Combine all the ingredients in a medium bowl, then apply to whatever you deign to grill. I applied it to shrimp, but think it would be a great chicken and beef marinade as well. I also grilled the shrimp skewers with some good corn on the cob – a prospect which is only going to improve as the weather improves and we venture into Illinois sweet corn season.
1. Shell, de-vein, and remove head from shrimp. Marinade shrimp for at least 30 minutes prior to grilling. Soak skewers if using wooden skewers.
2. If you haven’t already, skewer the shrimp, allowing for even spacing between individual shrimp. Do not pluralize shrimp as “shrimps,” because that is a fool-ass thing to do.
3. Shuck the outer layer of the corn, remove the silk, and soak in water for a few minutes.
4. Get your coals ready in a chimney starter, like so:
5. And set up your grill for indirect grilling, like so:
6. Remove your corn from the water and shake off excess.
7. Oil your grill grate and place corn over the direct heat, allowing for a couple of minutes per side before placing skewers over indirect heat.
8. Grill the shrimp 1-2 minutes per side, until pink.
9. Remove corn and skewers from grill, enjoy your feast of food with built-in handles.
The Maxwell Street Polish sausage is a true Chicago classic, a sort of hybridization of the classic hot dog and the kielbasa. It’s the closest thing to street food we have in this overly-regulated town, minus a couple elotes stands in the neighborhoods.
According to various stories I’ve heard slurred from bar stools over the years, the Polish wasn’t invented by a Polish guy at all, but a Macedonian immigrant named Jimmy. Now it’s got a place in the Chicago food pantheon along with Italian beef, Chicago-style dogs, and deep dish.
Since UIC’s push outward has relocated most of the original Polish purveyors, it’s as good a time as any to start a Polish sausage tradition of your own. This comes straight from Death Toll Scholl, who may not be Macedonian, but definitely isn’t Polish either.
1. Place all utensils and sausage making tools in freezer for at least 1 hour prior to beginning the grinding process. You don’t want any of the fat getting warm and mushy – that will screw with your sausage-making in a powerful fashion. So everything must be as cold as possible. Some people just keep their meat grinders in the freezer at all times – if you’ve got the space, it might be a good idea to do so.
2. Cube pork and cut bacon and arrange on a cookie sheet; put in
freezer for at least 30 minutes.
3. While meat chills, mix the dry ingredients in a bowl and prepare onions.
4. Take cookie sheet out of freezer and add the cubed onion to the meat.
5. Grind meat/onion mixture into a cold bowl set on ice.
6. Using a Kitchenaid or other type of mixer, mix chopped onion, dry ingredients and mustard
7. Prepare sausage casing. There are various types of both organic (hog, lamb) and synthetic casings to use.
8. Stuff casing, as pictured.
9. Hang casing for 1 hour. Heat the grill while practicing your Macedonian-American accent (whatever that is).
English food has long been misunderstood in this country. Even classified as repulsive by those who may not appreciate the combination of beans and toast for breakfast. But some of us know better. A lot of that undeserved reputation seems to be a problem in translation. People from the UK have a history of taking perfectly delicious foods and giving them horrifically unappealing names.
- “A nice hearty sausage? Oy, let’s call that blood pudding”
- “Delicious back bacon? What’s a good name for that, mum? Roight, they’s called rashers, they is.”
- “Fruit dessert? That’s called trifle. Shut up, that’s why.”
What you see is the foundation of American mistrust of British cooking. Had these people invented hamburgers, they probably would have named it Goatse (note: don’t Google that term if you don’t know it. Give thanks for your ignorance).
Smashy smashy!
Likewise, today’s meal suffers from a name that rubs Americans the wrong way. Shepherd’s pie is an excellent dish, especially in the fall/winter months. But when we hear the word pie, we expect it to be either topped with ice cream or torn out of a Hostess wrapper. Minced lamb (or venison, or beef, or unicorn), carrots, and mashed potatoes is quite the shock when one’s mind is conditioned to expect apples, sugar, and pastry. I’m not taking a side on who is “right” in this issue. I’m telling you to man up if you’ve never tried this before. It’s worth it.
The concept is simple, but you can take it a number of ways (see anal-retentive note below). You take minced or ground meat, brown it, and sweat some aromatic vegetables and herbs. You then combine these with some wine, broth, and maybe a little tomato paste. When the mix is nice and reduced, put it into a dish, top with mashed potatoes, and bake until the potatoes are nice and brown. Sing “God Save the Queen” (original or Sex Pistols version) and eat.
Yep, that’s right. We used it a second time. That’s how we roll.
(Note: Far as my ignorant Yank self understands, this dish is only deemed Shepherd’s Pie if you make it with lamb. Should you elect for venison [my favorite] or beef, it apparently becomes a Cottage Pie. It’s like magic.)
Shepherd’s Pie
The Setup
That beer? That’s for you, champ.
Pie filling
- 2 lb minced lamb or venison
- 1 white onion, small dice or minced
- 1 carrot, small dice or minced
- 2 cloves garlic, minced
- 2 tbsp tomato paste
- 2 tbsp Worcestershire
- 3 sprigs fresh rosemary (This is important. Don’t go dried if you can help it.)
- 1 c red wine
- 1 14 oz. can beef stock or broth
- 1 tsp allspice
- 1 tsp paprika
- Flour for dusting
- Salt and pepper
- Olive oil
Mashed potatoes
- 2-4 med/large russet potatoes (2 lb total)
- 1/2 stick (2 oz) unsalted butter
- 4-5 oz. whole milk
Cut it small. And on a Space Invaders cutting board. Both are key.
Cooking
1. If using cubed or minced meat, rather than ground, dust with flour. Season with salt and pepper.
2. Heat 1-2 tbsp oil in a 12-in skillet over med-hi. Brown meat in batches, adding oil during the process if necessary.
3. Add onion, carrot, and garlic. Cook for 5 minutes, until the onions and carrots begin to soften.
4. Add Worcestershire, tomato paste, and rosemary. Cook for another minute.
5. Pour in red wine. Bring to a boil and reduce until wine is almost evaporated.
6. Pour in enough stock/broth to cover ingredients. Check seasoning and simmer for another 20 minutes.
7. Add paprika and allspice. Preheat oven to 450.
8. Boil or simmer potatoes until tender. After potatoes cool, pass through ricer and whisk with butter and milk.
9. Spread meat mixture evenly around the bottom of a medium casserole or souffle dish. Top evenly with mashed potatoes, and use a fork to rough up the top of the potatoes. Kind of like this:
10. Bake at 450 for 25-30 min, until the top of the potatoes are browned to your liking.
Ah, Buffalo wings – beer makes you more delicious, and you make beer more refreshing. It’s a relationship so heartwarming that Jack and Diane seem like Hitler and Eva Braun by comparison.
Prior to all the hipsters proclaiming love for tripe, kidneys, and tongue, Buffalo wings were the original culinary “one man’s trash …” story. As you all probably know, the wings were invented at the Anchor Bar in Buffalo, NY, as a way to get some use from a part of the chicken that was then thought of as garbage. A little hot sauce and blue cheese later, they’ve become so popular as to substantially screw with the price of chicken itself.
If you’re going to do this, do it right. Get the jointed wings and chop those bad boys down to that familiar, recognizable shape for delicious preparation. Boneless wings are for chattering sorority girls and Guy Fieri … I repeat myself. You want that satisfying pile of bones and gristle, paying tribute to your power as a barbaric man (or, if you prefer, Amazonian lady). If you work in retail or a cubicle, it’s probably as bad-ass as you’re going to feel the entire week.
It should be said right off the bat that we’re calling these “Hot Wings” and not “Buffalo Wings.” They are not prepared in the traditional Buffalo style (i.e., not fried to hell, more than 2 ingredients in the sauce), and people from that region get mighty uppity if you deviate. This might not be Buffalo, but you can enjoy a crispy skin with a much more tender and juicy inner wing. Who ever said Buffalo was perfect, anyway? Certainly not anyone who watched Super Bowls XXV-XXVIII.
The Setup
Don’t forget, you also need a big plastic cup, featuring your alma mater, filled with half cheap whiskey and half Coke.
You’ll need the following equipment:
- Good tongs (not the tiny ones that your mom bought you when you moved into your own place that make your hands cramp and look like Stephen Hawking’s).
- Nonstick saute pan
- Large mixing bowl (for tossing wings in sauce)
- Rimmed baking pan lined with foil
Ingredients
1 dozen chicken wings (not wing pieces, actual chicken wings)
Four for dusting, seasoned with salt and pepper
3 tbsp vegetable oil
3 tbsp butter
8 tbsp hot sauce (in Buffalo, they use Frank’s Red Hot. Just saying.)
8 tbsp butter (that’d be one stick. What, you expected health food?)
1 1/2 tbsp white vinegar
1/2 tsp cayenne pepper
1/8 tsp garlic salt
1/2 tsp Worcestershire
1/4 tsp salt
Cooking
1. Cut through the wings at each joint. Set wing tips aside for stock, or throw away. Or do whatever you want. They’re yours. Just don’t try to make them into hot wings. That’d be gross.
2. Place all sauce ingredients (that second grouping of things above) in a small saucepan. Bring to a boil briefly, then simmer over low, stirring to prevent sticking.
If you want the traditional sauce recipe, than ignore everything but the butter and hot sauce.
3. Dust chicken wings in seasoned flour. Shake off excess. Preheat oven to 375.
4. Heat 2 tbsp each of the butter and oil over med/med-hi, depending on your oven range. Using both butter and oil will keep the butter from burning in the pan.
Cast iron works too. But if you put that in the dishwasher when you’re done, I’ll come over and punch you in the throat.
5. Brown wings in skillet for 3-4 min, until nice and golden. Flip then and repeat. Remove to baking pan.
If you want, you can brush your wings with sauce at any time during the following steps. It’s going to lead to much less crispy skin, but they’ll be both juicy and saucier than a 1920s burlesque performer. Your call.
6. Bake in the oven at 375 for 30-35 min, depending on the size of the wings.
The chicken juice and sauce leaking off of the sides of the pan, on to my oven floor, explains why I recommend a rimmed baking ban. Do as I say, not as I capture on film.
7. Turn oven up to 400, and bake for an additional 10 minutes.
8. Pour finished wing sauce into bowl. Remove pan from oven. Throw the wings into the sauce a half-dozen at a time, and toss in the bowl.
9. Crack open a cold beer, mutter “hell yes” to no one in particular, and throw on the DVD of Roadhouse. Enjoy yourself.
With an entire bowl of extra sauce – dip the celery in it, brush your teeth with it, or just drink it alone in the dark while staving off tears. Hooray for dignity!
Down home cooking – what is it to you? Everyone has their own version. A meal traditionally served at a certain time or on a specific occasion. Usually a hearty comfort food that cures what ails you. It could be your family’s Christmas morning breakfast or just the annual Thanksgiving meal. To me, it’s something special, a meal that has been eaten by my ancestors for over a century. It’s called Hatchie Bottom Stew, and it’s my down home meal. The stew around the West Tennessee homelands originated with a number of things that come together only in the Fall season, when temperatures start to cool, and a hearty, warm stew is the ultimate comfort food. This is a stew inspired by my ancestors from Virginia, where the traditional Brunswick stew is a staple food. It may be served at squirrel-hunting camps, family reunions, church dinner-on-the-grounds, political rallies, or any other gathering.
Our farmer friends often freeze the basic ingredients and make a stew in the middle of winter when farming slows down. Fall is the ultimate food season to me because:
1) The late crop of sweet corn is at its peak.
2) The tomatoes are late in the season and are the sweetest and most flavorful.
3) Squirrel season has opened, and the little critters are plentiful.
The Setup
It’s a simple food, taking very few ingredients, but lots of time, and usually some help with the stirring. Because this dish does take time, it’s recommended that it be prepared outside, as is traditional, in the biggest pot you can find. Perhaps something in the near-bath tub variety. Your normal kitchen utensils need not apply to this task – you’ll need a wooden tool that more closely resembles a boat paddle.
Now for the ingredients, you can make as big of a stew as you can fit in you pot, but the ingredients are as follows:
- One chicken (skin, meat and bones)
- One squirrel (not required, but traditional), meat and bones
- One stalk of celery, roughly chopped
- One onion, cut into eight chunks
- One can diced tomatoes
- One can corn
Cooking
The method can be somewhat of a marathon. This is where the help comes in.
1. First, fill your large pot with all your meat, the celery, and the onion. Fill the rest of the pot with water. Then bring it to a boil.
2. Once it is boiling, cover it and turn off the heat (do not uncover until the outside is cool to the touch). By this time the meat will be cooked through. Now it is time to pick it. Begin pulling the meat off of the bones making sure to keep everything but keep the meat separate (this means no cartilage). It doesn’t hurt to quickly run a knife through the meat to make sure that none of the pieces are too stringy and long.
3. After you have this completed, strain half of your original liquid, put meat in strained liquid and begin to simmer, stirring occasionally.
4. The rest of the liquid should then be boiled with the bones and skin to produce an excellent stock. As the pot with the meat begins to thicken and reduce, the addition of the stock is recommended after straining (when stock is finished, bones may then be discarded).
5. Once all liquid is added it is time to add the tomatoes. Continue to simmer for an hour, then add the corn, once the corn is added, the stew will begin to thicken quickly and will begin to stick to the sides. To combat this, constant stirring is necessary for an additional hour. After this final hour the stew is ready to serve.
The stew – not quite thick enough yet, but it will tighten up as time goes by
Serving
Service of the stew should be done quickly while it is still hot, or cooled in small batches and frozen. In my mind, only four things are appropriate as accompaniments: white bread, saltine crackers, cheddar cheese, and hot sauce. Anything else is just too much.
Further musings
The Anti-Recipe – Many great foods have great recipes. To make Hatchie Bottom Stew great, it is more important to observe what you don’t do, and what you don’t put in it. My Grandma Dorothy grew up at the center of the stew universe. Her highest compliment is “Well, I hear he makes a real clean stew.”
Anti-Ingredients:
- No Chicken knuckles (Bone-end cartlidge — see Squirrel Heads, below)
- No Squirrel heads (Pick the meat out of the stock, then strain, rather than trying to pick stuff out of the stew pot as it floats by while cooking.)
- No Shotgun Pellets (Again, strain the stock and only put in the final pot what you want to eat!)
- No Livers or Gizzards (There is no more “dirty” stew than one that has livers and gizzards floating by. It’s even dirtier if you grind them up. [See Anti-Method below.] Yuck!!!!! Dirty rice is one thing, dirty stew is entirely unacceptable.)
- No Butterbeans (Many good Brusnwick Stew recipes include butterbeans aka Lima Beans. That’s fine, soup with butterbeans is often really good, it’s just not stew)
- No Green vegetables (That might make it healthy)
- No Strawberries (Some noted stew-making friends of ours always froze mass quantities of stew ingredients whenever they were in season. They also froze a big batch of strawberries. You can see that train wreck coming. Actually, the amount of strawberries in the mass quantity of stew made little difference, but the story was good!)
Anti-Method – Do not grind anything you put in stew. Many people put their stew through a meat grinder. You grind meat for Vienna Sausage and Potted Meat. NOT STEW!!!! Your pulled chicken meat should be chopped up chicken salad size. I guess some people grind their stew to avoid that stringy old rooster!
Man B Que is a huge part of my life and I spend a lot of time promoting the whole concept. It’s great, I travel A LOT for work and everywhere I go I tell people about it and they always seem to respond with great enthusiasm. Never is this more true than when being around family. Unlike at work where everybody wants to give me a “great” recipe I “have” to try, my family is chill. They want to get to know what this “Man B Que” thing is that I have been obsessing about and more importantly, they want a peek into the grilling maniac mind so they can understand this odd passion.
I’m out in Connecticut for work and I’ve been spending time with my aunt Armandina and my uncle Al, they wanted to take me out to dinner, so they let me pick the place. I decided to go to a “world famous” pizza place that everybody raves about. Big mistake. (I’ll rant about this on the upcoming East Coast Pizza Wars blog) Anyway, I felt like a big ass, so I figured, the best way to counteract a bad food experience is with a great one. I didn’t want to rely on some restaurant, so being the “Man B Que Godfather,” I dug into my meat eating brain and created a new burger just for them. I named it the “Apology Chipotle Burger” because “I’m Sorry Aunt Armandina and Uncle Al Chipotle Burger” was way too long.
This is a smokey flavored burger with just the right amount of bite. The chipotle seasoning gives it the smoky flavor and combined with the pepper jack cheese give it a bit of a bite. My suggestion is to serve these on a nicely toasted and buttered kaiser roll and topped with either slices of avocado or a large scoop of guacamole.
Enjoy!
Ingredients:
1.25 Lbs. ground beef: organic, veggie fed 87% lean (yields 3 large burgers)
1 chopped green pepper
1/2 cup chopped oregano
1/2 Lbs. diced hot pepper jack cheese
8 tbsp. of butter
1 egg: organic, vegetarian fed
1/2 Cup of seasoned bread crumbs
Guacamole or avocado
1. Start off by mixing all of your seasoning ingredients in a small bowl, place the bowl to the side for now. The amount I’ve recommended makes a bit more than 1/2 cup of seasoning.
2. In a large bowl, mix in the green peppers and cheese with the ground beef. Make sure the ingredients are nice and evened out.
3. Melt the butter. After melting add your butter add the egg and whip both together.
4. Add cilantro and seasoning mix to the whipped egg/butter and mix both evenly.
5. Combine the beef with the butter mix. While mixing the two, add in your bread crumbs. Again, make sure everything is nice and evenly mixed.
4. Shape your patties. I like starting them off as almost a meat ball and then massaging them down to a flatter shape.
5. Place the patties on some foil and stick in the freezer for about 30 min
6. After removing from the freezer, throw your burgers on the grill. For higher heat, place for about 10 minutes per side, medium heat about 14 minutes per side.
7. Add sliced avocado to the top of the burger or a large scoop of avocado.
8. Eat the f@ck out of these burgers because they will be delicious.
Are all sandwiches created equal? The existence of Vegemite suggests that the answer is a resounding, and disgusting, no.
Vegemite: Proving the mental illness of the entire country of Australia
The sandwich is a staple of lunches everywhere, from the PB&J in the Ghostbusters lunchbox of a child (or socially inept comic book store employee) to the corned beef sandwich at your local Irish pub. The varieties of sandwiches around the world are endless. Different meats, bread, cheeses, veggies and condiments (bacon is both a meat and a condiment) allow sandwich explorers to roam to whatever combination soothes the savage glutton. Clearly, some are much better than others. Which raises the question of how to rank them.
Made with love by a bar cook with a knife scar on his face
I am not here to tell you the perfect stack – merely to offer some help in judging. The sandwich which all others should be judged by, the tasty combo that has graced us for years (its probably in your child’s lunch box today) is the bologna and cheese on white bread. It’s simple, tasty and readily available. It’s both a classic standby and the unemployed bastard’s last defense against starvation (because Ramen noodles suck).
My favorite version however uses hand sliced bologna seasoned with a quality barbecue dry. You grill it, then before taking it off the grill add sliced Hoop cheddar. When it’s all melted and delicious, serve it on toast with yellow mustard, barbecue and hot sauces (Texas Pete’s hot sauce works well).
Something like this, except not snagged off of Google Images in real life
Although this is one of my favorite sandwiches, it is not the world’s best. Only Sandwich Nazis declare absolutes. There’s always something better and more fattening around the corner. Another slightly more sophisticated interpretation of the above-described bologna sandwich follows, but use your imagination. Some say the sky is the limit. I disagree – the other piece of bread is the limit. Unless you’re some open-faced eating crackpot.
Nuclear Steak Bomb
The elegant plating and dinner napkin placement suggests this may not be a Man B Que-taken picture. Hell, the existence of a napkin at all in it is pretty conclusive evidence.
1 sirloin steak
1 bell pepper sliced
1/4 onion sliced
1 can croissant dough
1 jar mushroom gravy
Worcestershire sauce
Olive oil
Salt and pepper
1. Season and grill your steak to your desired doneness. Simplicity works best with the seasoning – Worcestershire sauce, olive oil, salt and black pepper.
2. Heat a skillet over medium, then add gravy, bell peppers, and onions
3. When steak is finished resting, slice across the grain of the meat into bite-sized pieces.
4. Put steak chunks into skillet until gravy is thick.
5. Roll out croissant dough, making sure no seams break. Pour gravy steak mix into the center of the dough. Wrap dough around the mixture and bake following the instructions from the can.
What’s a good recipe without pop culture referencing?
There are those in our fair city that live without the luxury of a deck or porch. While this is not a lifestyle choice of which I approve (I’m wagging my finger in a fatherly way right now), this should not deprive them of their right to ridiculously delicious burgers. So fear not, intrepid shut-ins, I’ve found a way for you to turn your stovetop into a steam-billowing short order diner line.
Oh, and if the whole “Steamed Hams” reference is throwing you, I suggest you click here and join the rest of us. Frankly, I’m surprised it took us this long to shoehorn in a Simpsons reference.
Cartoons aside, I’d also read a story from Gourmet editor Sara Moulton about her first job cooking, where they took a burger covered with mushrooms, onions, and cheese and steamed it with beer. I didn’t have a griddle and a big-ass metal bowl, but I did have a skillet and more than enough beer to do the job.
The Setup
(Makes 2 burgers – double it for 4. Yay, math!)
- 1/2 lb ground chuck
- 1 tbsp dijon mustard
- 1/2 tbsp Worcestershire sauce
- Coarse-grained salt
- Fresh ground black pepper
- 1/2 c diced white onion
- 4 sliced mushrooms (Whatever kind you’d like. I bought a pack of Essex Kent mushrooms. They were on sale.)
- 1 jalapeno, quartered and diced
- 8 olives, diced
- 1/4 c grated white cheddar
- 1/4 c crumbled feta cheese
- 1/3 c dark ale (I used Half Acre’s Over Ale)
- 2 buns, toasted or steamed
Cooking
1. Combine the ground chuck, mustard, and Worcestershire. Season with salt and black pepper.
2. Divide beef and form into thin 1/4 lb patties.
3. Heat 2 tbsp vegetable oil in a large skillet to medium.
4. Add onions to pan, cook until soft, about 4-5 minutes.
5. Raise heat to medium hi and add mushrooms. Cook another 4-5 minutes, until the mushrooms are browned and glossy.
6. Season the onion/mushroom mix with salt and pepper, and remove to a bowl. Wipe out the skillet.
7. Add 1 tbsp of vegetable oil to the skillet, heat to medium-high.
I did just one burger at a time – you know, for illustrative purposes. And because I don’t own a very big skillet.
8. When oil is heated, add burgers to the skillet and cook 3 minutes.
9. Flip and cook another 2 minutes.
10. Add the toppings to burgers – onion/mushroom mix, jalepenos, and cheddar on one, and onion/mushroom, olives, and feta on the other.
11. Add beer to the skillet. Cover and steam for 3 minutes, until cheese is melted.
The beer gave its’ life for deliciousness.
12. Put onto buns and enjoy your mouth-watering steamed hams.
So far as most people see it, a proponent of grilling has to choose one of two camps – charcoal or gas. The gas users say that charcoal is inconvenient and can provide inconsistent heat. The charcoal users say that gas doesn’t get quite as hot and doesn’t impart that distinctive charcoal aroma. Meanwhile, the guys who cook over hardwood just laugh, take a slug of whiskey from the bottle, and call both of them pussies. And not wanting to be called such, I’ve always wanted to try my hand at smoking. Which brings us to today’s recipe, a tangy, smoky brisket inspired largely by Mike Mills’ excellent Peace, Love and BBQ.
At it’s heart, the practice of grilling is about taking something ordinary and making it excellent through skill, practice, and sheer force of will. Nowhere is that more evident than with brisket. You take a tough, fat-covered cut that most meat departments don’t even stock, and you turn it badass – much like Mr. Miyagi did to Daniel Russo. Except, you know, Miyagi didn’t end up eating him. But if it helps you to put on some badass ’80s music in hope of a montage, you go right ahead, sport.
Ingredients
1 beef brisket ~7 lbs.
1 c apple juice
Mustard Slather
1/4 c yellow mustard
1/4 c Dijon mustard
1/4 c apple cider vinegar
1/4 c beer
Rub
1 c sugar
1/2 c brown sugar, dried
1/3 c seasoned salt
1/3 c celery salt
1/3 c paprika
3 tbsp ancho chile powder
2 tbsp fresh ground black pepper
1 tbsp lemon pepper
2 tsp ground sage
2 tsp mustard powder
1/2 tsp thyme
The Setup
Sure, it says “Smoker,” but it’s the blackening that really convinces me
- First thing’s first – if you want to smoke, you’re going to have to come to terms with the fact that you’re going to need an entire day. And probably half of the previous evening. If this is unacceptable, then go get yourself a chicken caesar wrap from Applebees, Sally Mae.
- For this job, you’re going to need a smoker. I know that a lot of BBQ cookbooks try to throw grill-owners a bone and say that you can use indirect fire and wood chips, but that’s not going to work. You most likely won’t have a side door to drop in fresh coals on your kettle grill, and you don’t want to be lifting the lid every time you need to add heat. Just get a smoker. You can snag one for about $65.
When starting coals, make sure you’ve got a friend nearby in Chuck Taylors. You know, for atmosphere.
- You’re also going to need a metal bucket, or a chimney starter with a stone or metal sheet under it to keep prepared coals ready. When you’re cooking low and slow, you can’t be throwing on unlit coals and hope they’ll catch at 230 degrees.
- Get a pair of comfortable tongs. You’re going to be transferring a lot of lit coals. A lot. You don’t want to end up with some sort of clawed hand, like you’re a 13 year old boy 48 hours after the new Victoria’s Secret catalog comes in the mail.
- Also good? Suede grilling gloves. As you may imagine, a bucket of coals is hot as fuck.
Gentlemen make sure to not giggle when saying “probe” … more than three times.
- Keep a probe thermometer on hand to keep an eye on the smoker temperature and check the brisket when it’s nearly done. Also keep a spray bottle to spritz the brisket when you have to turn it.
- The type of hardwood you use (apple, mesquite, hickory, etc.) depends on your preference, but make sure it’s small enough to fit in your smoker. Unless you’ve got a wood shop, or are some kind of unholy urban lumberjack, you’re not going to be able to split it at home.
The Night Before
1. Combine dry rub ingredients in a large bowl. If the brown sugar isn’t dry, spread it out on a plate, microwave 15 seconds, break up the clumps, and repeat until dry. Sift to take out any remaining chunks.
2. Reserve ~1/2 c of the rub, storing the rest in a tightly-sealed jar for future use.
3. Whisk together mustard, vinegar, and beer until smooth. Set aside.
4. Place the brisket, fat side up, onto your cutting board. Trim the layer of fat until it’s 1/4″ thick.
5. Cover brisket with mustard slather. Just use your hands. Or a pastry brush if you’re French.
6. Season the brisket well on all sides with the reserved rub. Don’t be stingy, or the horrified looks of your guests will forever haunt your soul.
7. Place into a plastic bag or container, and let marinate overnight, if possible.
Brisket Day
1. Get up early to start the fire. Earlier than you think you need. Resent those still warm in their beds. Consider how early is too early to begin drinking.
2. Use a chimney starter to get a batch of hardwood coals started. Place them in the smoker, along with some smaller pieces of the wood. Continue to burn coals and wood until you have a consistent heat of 230-250 degrees.
Why yes, starting a fire on a third floor wood deck is a very good idea, smartass
3. As the fire builds, take the brisket out of the refrigerator to let it come closer to room temperature.
4. Light another batch of coals in the chimney starter, and either keep them in the starter, or place them into a metal bucket. This is what you’re going to use to regulate the heat.
5. Place the brisket on the grill, making sure that it’s fat side up. That quarter-inch of fat is going to melt through the meat in a way that’s going to make you love life.
6. Keep the temperature between 230-250 for 1 1/2 – 2 hours for each pound.
7. Give the brisket a 90 degree turn at each halfway point in the cooking process. So if you’re cooking for 12 hours, turn with 6 hours left, then 3 hours left, then an hour and a half left, etc.
I wish there were a manlier word to use than “spritz.” I’d consider the term “Man Spray,” but that sounds even worse.
8. When you turn the brisket, spritz the top of the meat with the bottled apple juice.
9. When you think that your delicious slab of meat is done, check for an internal temperature of 185 degrees. If it’s finished, wrap it in aluminum foil and let it rest for 20-30 minutes.
A meal fit for a king. Also fit for Ted Nugent.
10. Slice thin and eat it. You eat the hell out of it.
