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[ May 18, 2012 3:00 am to May 19, 2012 3:00 am. ]

Manbque invites you to come take in a night of tasty meat, cold beer and loud rock n roll. We wouldn’t have it any other way.

$5 bucks gets you awesome, grilled food by the Manbque dudes and enough music to make your ears bleed. (in a good way, of course)

Great food, good music, somewhat ok [...]

You, readers and patrons of ManBQue, have questions about grilling. And honestly, it’s one of our favorite things to do to answer them. Especially because they’re often along the lines of “Can you grill X?” At one of the last events, a newer attendee was marveling at the variety of food, legitimately believing that the [...]

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Posts Tagged ‘meat’

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MARCH MEATING

Posted on: March 13th, 2012   By: The Godfather   No Comments Share   
March 29, 2012
7:00 pmto11:00 pm

Captain Ken is docking his boat and moving out. This will be his last time hosting a Manbque MEATing at this spot, so come out and bid the urban captain a farewell.

Bring meat. Bring beer. Be a man.

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HAMMER OF THE GODS: 1 year anniversary

Posted on: February 7th, 2012   By: The Godfather   No Comments Share   
February 23, 2012
7:00 pmto10:00 pm

Come out and celebrate the 1 year anniversary of the burger pairing collaboration between Three Aces, Manbque, and New Holland brewing with the return of…..

HAMMER OF THE GODS!!!

$25 gets you an amazing burger, a delicious beer and a whiskey milkshake for dessert. We just blew your mind, admit it.

The burger:
Pretzel Bun, Bacon Jam, C&D Grass Fed Beef, 3 year White Cheddar, Caramelized Onion, Shaved Porchetta, Garlic and Hops Pickles, Mixed Farm Greens, Red Onion, Bourbon and Chicken Liver Pate, Fried Egg, and Garlic Aioli

The Beer:
A robust renovation of the India Pale Ale. Assertive dry-hopping provides an aromatic telltale nose, indicative of the bitter symphony to follow. Bold hop character with lively grapefruit and citrus notes.

20° Plato, 9.4% ABV

Event info:

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MANBQUE MEAT STADIUM

Posted on: February 3rd, 2012   By: The Godfather   No Comments Share   
February 3, 2012toFebruary 5, 2012

Manbque Meat Stadium

The Meat Stadium is an homage to and modeled after the original Soldier Field in Chicago, IL, home to the elite grilling organization known as Manbque. The Meat Stadium was designed on Monday and completed Thursday. The consumption began shortly after the completion. Due to the sheer size of the Meat Stadium, only 25% of the stadium was eaten upon completion. Its design is modelled on the Greco-Roman architectural tradition, with doric columns made of pure beef hotdogs rising above the stands that were made of homemade sausage pieces.

The original concept was designed by renowned food architects, Magoo, Phlipadelphia, and The Godfather. Construction was completed by the Manbque Meat Architecture team of Eric Barker, Efrain Cuevas and Kenneth Tapling.

The Meat Stadium consists of almost 30lbs of meat.

The exterior walls were made of two, 7lb pork loins seasoned with an original Manbque pork rub:

The columns were made from 14 pure beef hot dogs:

The roof above the columns was constructed of 5lbs of beer marinated skirt steak:

The north side wall of the stadium was a 5lb sriracha-caramel meatloaf:

The south side walls are 7 3/4lb Manbque seasoned beef burgers:

The seating area was composed of 7lbs of hand-made Manbque sausage:

The actual field was a bed of romaine lettuce seasoned with a homemade dressing, sour cream lines and candied bacon end zones:

THE MEAT STADIUM!!!!!

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RIOT FEAST DAY 3: DANZIG & HELMET

Posted on: October 7th, 2011   By: The Godfather   No Comments Share   

The Band: Danzig

The Recipe: Jersey Breakfast Dog

CLICK HERE FOR RECIPE

WHY?: Danzig is from Jersey and he would never eat bacon wrapped anything, so if we offered this to him he would get pissed off, shove us and then we would have to knock him out out. Right?

Knock Danzig Out

The Other Band: HELMET

The Other Recipe: Milk Toast

CLICK HERE FOR RECIPE

WHY?: It’s easy and awesome.

LISTEN TO MILQUETOAST

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RIOT FEAST DAY 2: SOCIAL DISTORTION AND THE TOSSERS

Posted on: October 6th, 2011   By: The Godfather   No Comments Share   

The Band: Social Distotion

The Food: In-N-Out Double-double burger

CLICK HERE FOR RECIPE

The Other Band: The Tossers

The other food: Irish Potato and Bacon Soup

CLICK HERE FOR RECIPE

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WEENIES & BIKINIS IV!!!

Posted on: July 27th, 2011   By: The Godfather   No Comments Share   
July 31, 2011 9:00 pmtoAugust 1, 2011 4:00 am

Weenie Birthday PARTY!!! This time we are celebrating Kelly’s birthday just the way she likes it! Weenies everywhere…

PBR hosted bar from 9-10 get there early or you will miss out on some sweet FREE stuff!!

Regular specials:
$3 PBR tall boys
$4 you call it’s

Free weenies on the grill till they’re gone

Birthday cupcakes!

Hotdog down a hallway contest with rad prizes

Rodney from the CMF and MANBQUE spin all night long!

See ya the 31st!

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JUNE MANBQUE MEATING!!!

Posted on: June 20th, 2011   By: The Godfather   No Comments Share   
June 28, 2011
7:00 pmto11:00 pm

It’s that time again…Manbque! The REAL deal. We’re not fuckin around with frozen burger patties and Miller Lite. Save that shit for your boss’s weekend bbq.

Bring a recipe that’s worth eating and some of your favorite beer. If you don’t have a good recipe:
A. Be ashamed of yourself
2. Bring some damn good beer and enough of it to make up for your lack of culinary creativeness

Address:
2335 W. Lyndale, backyard
Chicago, IL (In case you’re stupid enough to not know)

Be there.

-Manbque

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Minor Art Attack

Posted on: June 13th, 2011   By: The Godfather   No Comments Share   
June 18, 2011
8:00 amto8:00 pm
June 19, 2011
12:00 pmto6:00 pm

This is not your run of the mill craft fair. This is a community gathering together to help a school in need. Local crafters and artists coming together in support of Madero Middle School.

Plus MANBQUE will be manning the grill. Do good, eat good!

More info, CLICK HERE

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May Manbque MEATing

Posted on: May 26th, 2011   By: The Godfather   No Comments Share   
May 31, 2011
7:00 pmto11:00 pm

It’s that time fire up the grill again. We’ve all been waiting like meat junkies waiting to get our fix. Well, it’s finally time to get down, Manbque style!

Efrain, aka “The Freshman,” opens the doors to his adult dorm ( A South Loop loft with a rooftop over-looking the beautiful Chicago skyline)and let’s the animals of Manbque invade. It doesn’t get much better than this.

As always, bring food and beer to share. You don’t have to be an expert chef to enjoy Manbque, we just ask that you contribute. If you’re better at buying beer than making food, well, we’ll like you just as much.

MANBQUE!

(This is a private event, if you need the address, you weren’t invited)

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APRIL 2011 MANBQUE MEATING

Posted on: April 19th, 2011   By: The Godfather   No Comments Share   
April 26, 2011
7:30 pmto11:30 pm

Go buy some beer and pick out some meat because it’s Manbque time. Yeah, that’s right. Be a man and plan on showing up. No excuses, save those for when your old lady asks you to accompany her to a wedding this summer.

The Altier Brother open their gates and grills for this MEATing. Here’s your chance to try out that new recipe you’ve been waiting to make and if you’re not the culinary genius that we all pretend to be, come out anyway. (Just make sure you contribute some good beer. It’s America, nothing’s free)

Best recipe wins a kick-ass gift from Knob Creek.

Where: The Altier Brothers Compound, 517 W. Armitage. Chicago, IL (Come to the back)
When: April 26th, 7:30pm
Why: Because if you don’t your dad will think you’re his daughter.

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Ultimate Guys Night Out

Posted on: May 29th, 2010   By: The Godfather   1 Comment Share   
June 17, 2010
7:00 pmto9:00 pm
7:00 pmto9:00 pm

This event is for all of you dudes that complain about Man B Que not being out in the northwest burb. Here is your event, now shut up!

Whole Foods Market Palatine & Man B Que team up for the Ultimate Guys Night Out in the northwest suburbs. This one is not to be missed! Check out grilling demonstrations, beer tastings from Sam Adams, men’s health offerings, hear live music, see classic cars and more. Bring your dad as a warm up for Father’s Day weekend!

Free pint glass with any purchase of a 6 pack of beer while supplies last. Valid Thursday June 17th – Sunday June 20th. Limit one pint glass per 6 pack. Valid at Palatine store only

Location: Whole Foods Market Palatine
Street: 1331 North Rand Road
City/Town: Palatine, IL

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The Home Place: Traditional Hatchie Botton Stew

Posted on: May 22nd, 2010   By: The Godfather   No Comments Share   

Down home cooking – what is it to you? Everyone has their own version. A meal traditionally served at a certain time or on a specific occasion. Usually a hearty comfort food that cures what ails you. It could be your family’s Christmas morning breakfast or just the annual Thanksgiving meal. To me, it’s something special, a meal that has been eaten by my ancestors for over a century. It’s called Hatchie Bottom Stew, and it’s my down home meal. The stew around the West Tennessee homelands originated with a number of things that come together only in the Fall season, when temperatures start to cool, and a hearty, warm stew is the ultimate comfort food. This is a stew inspired by my ancestors from Virginia, where the traditional Brunswick stew is a staple food. It may be served at squirrel-hunting camps, family reunions, church dinner-on-the-grounds, political rallies, or any other gathering.

Our farmer friends often freeze the basic ingredients and make a stew in the middle of winter when farming slows down. Fall is the ultimate food season to me because:

1) The late crop of sweet corn is at its peak.
2) The tomatoes are late in the season and are the sweetest and most flavorful.
3) Squirrel season has opened, and the little critters are plentiful.

The Setup

It’s a simple food, taking very few ingredients, but lots of time, and usually some help with the stirring. Because this dish does take time, it’s recommended that it be prepared outside, as is traditional, in the biggest pot you can find. Perhaps something in the near-bath tub variety. Your normal kitchen utensils need not apply to this task – you’ll need a wooden tool that more closely resembles a boat paddle.

Now for the ingredients, you can make as big of a stew as you can fit in you pot, but the ingredients are as follows:

- One chicken (skin, meat and bones)

- One squirrel (not required, but traditional), meat and bones

- One stalk of celery, roughly chopped

- One onion, cut into eight chunks

- One can diced tomatoes

- One can corn

Cooking

The method can be somewhat of a marathon. This is where the help comes in.

1. First, fill your large pot with all your meat, the celery, and the onion. Fill the rest of the pot with water. Then bring it to a boil.

2. Once it is boiling, cover it and turn off the heat (do not uncover until the outside is cool to the touch). By this time the meat will be cooked through. Now it is time to pick it. Begin pulling the meat off of the bones making sure to keep everything but keep the meat separate (this means no cartilage). It doesn’t hurt to quickly run a knife through the meat to make sure that none of the pieces are too stringy and long.

3. After you have this completed, strain half of your original liquid, put meat in strained liquid and begin to simmer, stirring occasionally.

4. The rest of the liquid should then be boiled with the bones and skin to produce an excellent stock. As the pot with the meat begins to thicken and reduce, the addition of the stock is recommended after straining (when stock is finished, bones may then be discarded).

5. Once all liquid is added it is time to add the tomatoes. Continue to simmer for an hour, then add the corn, once the corn is added, the stew will begin to thicken quickly and will begin to stick to the sides. To combat this, constant stirring is necessary for an additional hour. After this final hour the stew is ready to serve.


The stew – not quite thick enough yet, but it will tighten up as time goes by

Serving

Service of the stew should be done quickly while it is still hot, or cooled in small batches and frozen. In my mind, only four things are appropriate as accompaniments: white bread, saltine crackers, cheddar cheese, and hot sauce. Anything else is just too much.

Further musings

The Anti-Recipe – Many great foods have great recipes. To make Hatchie Bottom Stew great, it is more important to observe what you don’t do, and what you don’t put in it. My Grandma Dorothy grew up at the center of the stew universe. Her highest compliment is “Well, I hear he makes a real clean stew.”

Anti-Ingredients:

- No Chicken knuckles (Bone-end cartlidge — see Squirrel Heads, below)

- No Squirrel heads (Pick the meat out of the stock, then strain, rather than trying to pick stuff out of the stew pot as it floats by while cooking.)

- No Shotgun Pellets (Again, strain the stock and only put in the final pot what you want to eat!)

- No Livers or Gizzards (There is no more “dirty” stew than one that has livers and gizzards floating by. It’s even dirtier if you grind them up. [See Anti-Method below.] Yuck!!!!! Dirty rice is one thing, dirty stew is entirely unacceptable.)

- No Butterbeans (Many good Brusnwick Stew recipes include butterbeans aka Lima Beans. That’s fine, soup with butterbeans is often really good, it’s just not stew)

- No Green vegetables (That might make it healthy)

- No Strawberries (Some noted stew-making friends of ours always froze mass quantities of stew ingredients whenever they were in season. They also froze a big batch of strawberries. You can see that train wreck coming. Actually, the amount of strawberries in the mass quantity of stew made little difference, but the story was good!)

Anti-Method – Do not grind anything you put in stew. Many people put their stew through a meat grinder. You grind meat for Vienna Sausage and Potted Meat. NOT STEW!!!! Your pulled chicken meat should be chopped up chicken salad size. I guess some people grind their stew to avoid that stringy old rooster!

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Apology Chipotle Burger

Posted on: May 22nd, 2010   By: The Godfather   No Comments Share   

Man B Que is a huge part of my life and I spend a lot of time promoting the whole concept. It’s great, I travel A LOT for work and everywhere I go I tell people about it and they always seem to respond with great enthusiasm. Never is this more true than when being around family. Unlike at work where everybody wants to give me a “great” recipe I “have” to try, my family is chill. They want to get to know what this “Man B Que” thing is that I have been obsessing about and more importantly, they want a peek into the grilling maniac mind so they can understand this odd passion.

I’m out in Connecticut for work and I’ve been spending time with my aunt Armandina and my uncle Al, they wanted to take me out to dinner, so they let me pick the place. I decided to go to a “world famous” pizza place that everybody raves about. Big mistake. (I’ll rant about this on the upcoming East Coast Pizza Wars blog) Anyway, I felt like a big ass, so I figured, the best way to counteract a bad food experience is with a great one. I didn’t want to rely on some restaurant, so being the “Man B Que Godfather,” I dug into my meat eating brain and created a new burger just for them. I named it the “Apology Chipotle Burger” because “I’m Sorry Aunt Armandina and Uncle Al Chipotle Burger” was way too long.

This is a smokey flavored burger with just the right amount of bite. The chipotle seasoning gives it the smoky flavor and combined with the pepper jack cheese give it a bit of a bite. My suggestion is to serve these on a nicely toasted and buttered kaiser roll and topped with either slices of avocado or a large scoop of guacamole.

Enjoy!

Ingredients:
1.25 Lbs. ground beef: organic, veggie fed 87% lean (yields 3 large burgers)
1 chopped green pepper
1/2 cup chopped oregano
1/2 Lbs. diced hot pepper jack cheese
8 tbsp. of butter
1 egg: organic, vegetarian fed
1/2 Cup of seasoned bread crumbs
Guacamole or avocado

Seasoning ingredients:
.25 cup chili powder
1 tablespoon dried cilantro
1 tablespoon cumin
1 tablespoon Mexican oregano, leaves
1 tablespoon dried sweet basil leaves
1/2 tablespoon garlic powder
1/2 tablespoon dried thyme leaves
1/2 tablespoon crushed chipotle pepper

1. Start off by mixing all of your seasoning ingredients in a small bowl, place the bowl to the side for now. The amount I’ve recommended makes a bit more than 1/2 cup of seasoning.

2. In a large bowl, mix in the green peppers and cheese with the ground beef. Make sure the ingredients are nice and evened out.

3. Melt the butter. After melting add your butter add the egg and whip both together.

4. Add cilantro and seasoning mix to the whipped egg/butter and mix both evenly.

5. Combine the beef with the butter mix. While mixing the two, add in your bread crumbs. Again, make sure everything is nice and evenly mixed.

4. Shape your patties. I like starting them off as almost a meat ball and then massaging them down to a flatter shape.

5. Place the patties on some foil and stick in the freezer for about 30 min

6. After removing from the freezer, throw your burgers on the grill. For higher heat, place for about 10 minutes per side, medium heat about 14 minutes per side.

7. Add sliced avocado to the top of the burger or a large scoop of avocado.

8. Eat the f@ck out of these burgers because they will be delicious.

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Nuclear Bomb Steak Sandwich

Posted on: May 22nd, 2010   By: The Godfather   No Comments Share   
Are all sandwiches created equal? The existence of Vegemite suggests that the answer is a resounding, and disgusting, no.

Vegemite: Proving the mental illness of the entire country of Australia

The sandwich is a staple of lunches everywhere, from the PB&J in the Ghostbusters lunchbox of a child (or socially inept comic book store employee) to the corned beef sandwich at your local Irish pub. The varieties of sandwiches around the world are endless. Different meats, bread, cheeses, veggies and condiments (bacon is both a meat and a condiment) allow sandwich explorers to roam to whatever combination soothes the savage glutton. Clearly, some are much better than others. Which raises the question of how to rank them.

Made with love by a bar cook with a knife scar on his face

I am not here to tell you the perfect stack – merely to offer some help in judging. The sandwich which all others should be judged by, the tasty combo that has graced us for years (its probably in your child’s lunch box today) is the bologna and cheese on white bread. It’s simple, tasty and readily available. It’s both a classic standby and the unemployed bastard’s last defense against starvation (because Ramen noodles suck).

My favorite version however uses hand sliced bologna seasoned with a quality barbecue dry. You grill it, then before taking it off the grill add sliced Hoop cheddar. When it’s all melted and delicious, serve it on toast with yellow mustard, barbecue and hot sauces (Texas Pete’s hot sauce works well).


Something like this, except not snagged off of Google Images in real life

Although this is one of my favorite sandwiches, it is not the world’s best. Only Sandwich Nazis declare absolutes. There’s always something better and more fattening around the corner. Another slightly more sophisticated interpretation of the above-described bologna sandwich follows, but use your imagination. Some say the sky is the limit. I disagree – the other piece of bread is the limit. Unless you’re some open-faced eating crackpot.

Nuclear Steak Bomb


The elegant plating and dinner napkin placement suggests this may not be a Man B Que-taken picture. Hell, the existence of a napkin at all in it is pretty conclusive evidence.

1 sirloin steak
1 bell pepper sliced
1/4 onion sliced
1 can croissant dough
1 jar mushroom gravy
Worcestershire sauce
Olive oil
Salt and pepper

1. Season and grill your steak to your desired doneness. Simplicity works best with the seasoning – Worcestershire sauce, olive oil, salt and black pepper.

2. Heat a skillet over medium, then add gravy, bell peppers, and onions

3. When steak is finished resting, slice across the grain of the meat into bite-sized pieces.

4. Put steak chunks into skillet until gravy is thick.

5. Roll out croissant dough, making sure no seams break. Pour gravy steak mix into the center of the dough. Wrap dough around the mixture and bake following the instructions from the can.

Who said a croissant couldn’t be manly?

- Dirt Man

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Cooking with Booze: Steamed Hams

Posted on: May 22nd, 2010   By: The Godfather   No Comments Share   


What’s a good recipe without pop culture referencing?

There are those in our fair city that live without the luxury of a deck or porch. While this is not a lifestyle choice of which I approve (I’m wagging my finger in a fatherly way right now), this should not deprive them of their right to ridiculously delicious burgers. So fear not, intrepid shut-ins, I’ve found a way for you to turn your stovetop into a steam-billowing short order diner line.

Oh, and if the whole “Steamed Hams” reference is throwing you, I suggest you click here and join the rest of us. Frankly, I’m surprised it took us this long to shoehorn in a Simpsons reference.

Cartoons aside, I’d also read a story from Gourmet editor Sara Moulton about her first job cooking, where they took a burger covered with mushrooms, onions, and cheese and steamed it with beer. I didn’t have a griddle and a big-ass metal bowl, but I did have a skillet and more than enough beer to do the job.

The Setup

(Makes 2 burgers – double it for 4. Yay, math!)

- 1/2 lb ground chuck
- 1 tbsp dijon mustard
- 1/2 tbsp Worcestershire sauce
- Coarse-grained salt
- Fresh ground black pepper
- 1/2 c diced white onion
- 4 sliced mushrooms (Whatever kind you’d like. I bought a pack of Essex Kent mushrooms. They were on sale.)
- 1 jalapeno, quartered and diced
- 8 olives, diced
- 1/4 c grated white cheddar
- 1/4 c crumbled feta cheese
- 1/3 c dark ale (I used Half Acre’s Over Ale)
- 2 buns, toasted or steamed

Cooking

1. Combine the ground chuck, mustard, and Worcestershire. Season with salt and black pepper.

2. Divide beef and form into thin 1/4 lb patties.

3. Heat 2 tbsp vegetable oil in a large skillet to medium.


4. Add onions to pan, cook until soft, about 4-5 minutes.

5. Raise heat to medium hi and add mushrooms. Cook another 4-5 minutes, until the mushrooms are browned and glossy.

6. Season the onion/mushroom mix with salt and pepper, and remove to a bowl. Wipe out the skillet.

7. Add 1 tbsp of vegetable oil to the skillet, heat to medium-high.


I did just one burger at a time – you know, for illustrative purposes. And because I don’t own a very big skillet.

8. When oil is heated, add burgers to the skillet and cook 3 minutes.

9. Flip and cook another 2 minutes.

10. Add the toppings to burgers – onion/mushroom mix, jalepenos, and cheddar on one, and onion/mushroom, olives, and feta on the other.

11. Add beer to the skillet. Cover and steam for 3 minutes, until cheese is melted.


The beer gave its’ life for deliciousness.

12. Put onto buns and enjoy your mouth-watering steamed hams.


Serve with beer

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JB May’s KC Brisket

Posted on: May 22nd, 2010   By: The Godfather   No Comments Share   

Two tickets to paradise

So far as most people see it, a proponent of grilling has to choose one of two camps – charcoal or gas. The gas users say that charcoal is inconvenient and can provide inconsistent heat. The charcoal users say that gas doesn’t get quite as hot and doesn’t impart that distinctive charcoal aroma. Meanwhile, the guys who cook over hardwood just laugh, take a slug of whiskey from the bottle, and call both of them pussies. And not wanting to be called such, I’ve always wanted to try my hand at smoking. Which brings us to today’s recipe, a tangy, smoky brisket inspired largely by Mike Mills’ excellent Peace, Love and BBQ.

At it’s heart, the practice of grilling is about taking something ordinary and making it excellent through skill, practice, and sheer force of will. Nowhere is that more evident than with brisket. You take a tough, fat-covered cut that most meat departments don’t even stock, and you turn it badass – much like Mr. Miyagi did to Daniel Russo. Except, you know, Miyagi didn’t end up eating him. But if it helps you to put on some badass ’80s music in hope of a montage, you go right ahead, sport.

Ingredients

1 beef brisket ~7 lbs.
1 c apple juice

Mustard Slather
1/4 c yellow mustard
1/4 c Dijon mustard
1/4 c apple cider vinegar
1/4 c beer

Rub
1 c sugar
1/2 c brown sugar, dried
1/3 c seasoned salt
1/3 c celery salt
1/3 c paprika
3 tbsp ancho chile powder
2 tbsp fresh ground black pepper
1 tbsp lemon pepper
2 tsp ground sage
2 tsp mustard powder
1/2 tsp thyme

The Setup


Sure, it says “Smoker,” but it’s the blackening that really convinces me

- First thing’s first – if you want to smoke, you’re going to have to come to terms with the fact that you’re going to need an entire day. And probably half of the previous evening. If this is unacceptable, then go get yourself a chicken caesar wrap from Applebees, Sally Mae.

- For this job, you’re going to need a smoker. I know that a lot of BBQ cookbooks try to throw grill-owners a bone and say that you can use indirect fire and wood chips, but that’s not going to work. You most likely won’t have a side door to drop in fresh coals on your kettle grill, and you don’t want to be lifting the lid every time you need to add heat. Just get a smoker. You can snag one for about $65.


When starting coals, make sure you’ve got a friend nearby in Chuck Taylors. You know, for atmosphere.

- You’re also going to need a metal bucket, or a chimney starter with a stone or metal sheet under it to keep prepared coals ready. When you’re cooking low and slow, you can’t be throwing on unlit coals and hope they’ll catch at 230 degrees.

- Get a pair of comfortable tongs. You’re going to be transferring a lot of lit coals. A lot. You don’t want to end up with some sort of clawed hand, like you’re a 13 year old boy 48 hours after the new Victoria’s Secret catalog comes in the mail.

- Also good? Suede grilling gloves. As you may imagine, a bucket of coals is hot as fuck.


Gentlemen make sure to not giggle when saying “probe” … more than three times.

- Keep a probe thermometer on hand to keep an eye on the smoker temperature and check the brisket when it’s nearly done. Also keep a spray bottle to spritz the brisket when you have to turn it.

- The type of hardwood you use (apple, mesquite, hickory, etc.) depends on your preference, but make sure it’s small enough to fit in your smoker. Unless you’ve got a wood shop, or are some kind of unholy urban lumberjack, you’re not going to be able to split it at home.

The Night Before

1. Combine dry rub ingredients in a large bowl. If the brown sugar isn’t dry, spread it out on a plate, microwave 15 seconds, break up the clumps, and repeat until dry. Sift to take out any remaining chunks.

2. Reserve ~1/2 c of the rub, storing the rest in a tightly-sealed jar for future use.

3. Whisk together mustard, vinegar, and beer until smooth. Set aside.

4. Place the brisket, fat side up, onto your cutting board. Trim the layer of fat until it’s 1/4″ thick.

5. Cover brisket with mustard slather. Just use your hands. Or a pastry brush if you’re French.

6. Season the brisket well on all sides with the reserved rub. Don’t be stingy, or the horrified looks of your guests will forever haunt your soul.

7. Place into a plastic bag or container, and let marinate overnight, if possible.

Brisket Day

1. Get up early to start the fire. Earlier than you think you need. Resent those still warm in their beds. Consider how early is too early to begin drinking.

2. Use a chimney starter to get a batch of hardwood coals started. Place them in the smoker, along with some smaller pieces of the wood. Continue to burn coals and wood until you have a consistent heat of 230-250 degrees.


Why yes, starting a fire on a third floor wood deck is a very good idea, smartass

3. As the fire builds, take the brisket out of the refrigerator to let it come closer to room temperature.

4. Light another batch of coals in the chimney starter, and either keep them in the starter, or place them into a metal bucket. This is what you’re going to use to regulate the heat.

5. Place the brisket on the grill, making sure that it’s fat side up. That quarter-inch of fat is going to melt through the meat in a way that’s going to make you love life.

6. Keep the temperature between 230-250 for 1 1/2 – 2 hours for each pound.

7. Give the brisket a 90 degree turn at each halfway point in the cooking process. So if you’re cooking for 12 hours, turn with 6 hours left, then 3 hours left, then an hour and a half left, etc.


I wish there were a manlier word to use than “spritz.” I’d consider the term “Man Spray,” but that sounds even worse.

8. When you turn the brisket, spritz the top of the meat with the bottled apple juice.

9. When you think that your delicious slab of meat is done, check for an internal temperature of 185 degrees. If it’s finished, wrap it in aluminum foil and let it rest for 20-30 minutes.


A meal fit for a king. Also fit for Ted Nugent.

10. Slice thin and eat it. You eat the hell out of it.

- J.B. Mays

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The Godfather’s Meat Curtains

Posted on: April 27th, 2010   By: The Godfather   1 Comment Share   

1/2 cup lime juice, fresh squeezed

1/2 cup olive oil

1 teaspoon dried oregano

6 garlic cloves, pressed

salt, to taste

black pepper, fresh ground, to taste

1. Add all ingredients to a small jar, cover and shake for 2 minutes.

2. Adjust salt and pepper to taste.

This marinade is great for pork and beef. I prefer to use it on skirt steak. Make sure the skirt steak is not completely trimmed of all of it’s fat and be sure to tenderize it thoroughly.

For best results, marinade your meat for over 2 hours, I have even done it over night.

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