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Six Easy Super Bowl Foods

When the hated New England Patriots are vying for the NFL championship against the Tom Coughlin-led New York Giants, the only thing to root for is the chance to eat and drink enough for the rest of winter. Taco-flavored Doritos are the only thing that got me through the douchebaggy dominance of the mid-90s Dallas [...]

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Posts Tagged ‘rock’

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Down with the Supergroups!

Posted on: May 28th, 2010   By: The Godfather   No Comments Share   

I have been currently really into Them Crooked Vultures. It’s in my car and along with the new Black Rebel Motorcycle Club album and I just can’t stop listening to it. I recently introduced the album to a friend of mine who has been a bit out of the music scene since becoming a dad. I told him the line-up he asked me if it was “some new rock supergroup.” The first thought that came to mind was a picture of the Damn Yankees.

Well, does Them Crooked Vultures qualify as another supergroup? No, not at all. For some reason the label of supergroup really leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth. When I think supergroup, I think Velvet Revolver. It’s a pretty simple formula: shitty, pop rock ballads, skinny, ex-junkie musicians sobering up enough to convince other washed up, currently “between project,” ex-awesome musicians that their “addiction demons” are behind them and they are, “ready to rock.”. Throw them in a boiling rock cauldron and you’ve got yourself a “supergroup.” The thing about these so-called supergroups is, they suck. Starting a supergroup is never a good idea. It’s a result of egos not letting the body and person move into something outside of the limelight. Become a producer, direct music videos, stay in music but don’t, A. Join a supergroup or B.“TRY A SOLO PROJECT.” (See also: Sting. That’s just another can of worms for a future rant)

What’s even worse than supergroups are the pseudo-supergroups. Think Audioslave. This is a bizarre existence. For the cynical music fan like me, this is like a bad acid trip. Imagine going to a show where Rage Against the Machine comes out with Chris Cornell. Whoa, it’s like the ’90s vomited on stage! In theory, this is awesome, but in reality, it sucks. The band no longer rocks out like Rage used to and Chris Cornell’s vocals are out of place. This is a square peg going into a round hole – it does not fit. The whole show is spent thinking about how if they did one thing or another more like Rage or Soundgarden it would be perfect. But they’re not, so it falls flat and fails.

This should have been a one night thing. Like a live band karaoke where Rage was the guest band and Chris Cornell happened to be at the same bar so he decided to get up and sing a few songs. (Preferably “Sister Christian” or ANY Black Flag, Ramones or ABBA song) Instead, they put out albums and toured. So you got to see Soundgarden live, cool. You once caught Rage Against the Machine on tour, nice. You purchased an Audioslave cd and/or saw them perform, you’re an idiot.

It’s time to stand up and say “enough with the Supergroups!” *

*Acceptable, sort-of Supergroups: Me First and the Gimme Gimmies and Probot.

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(Re)Introduction to Destruction: Five Songs, Metal as Fuck

Posted on: May 28th, 2010   By: The Godfather   No Comments Share   

It has been suggested that perhaps I offered a low-key introduction of myself as music writer on the Manliest Blog Of Them All. I stand by my love of Buena Vista, yet here, as a sort of reintroduction, is a collection of videos from 5 of the metalest bands I have seen. Metal and I have a long, long history. My first concert was a Cannibal Corpse show Junior year of high school, and if I get in a room quiet enough, I’m fairly certain I can still hear the amp ringing. That’s how you know the metal is in your head. Here are 5 kickass videos from those days, before rap-rock and tribal tats made society collectively douchier.

Black Sabbath – “War Pigs”

Believe it or not, Ozzy Osbourne was not always a shambling joke of a man. Or if he was, at least he had the foresight not to wave that shit around in public. I saw the original Black Sabbath lineup a mere handful of months before Ozzy stopped being Ozzy Osbourne and started being That Hilarious Mumbling Guy With The Shrew Wife. I sort of wish I could forget everything from Ozzy after 1998. “War Pigs” is still sweet, though.

The Haunted – “Bury Your Dead”

I swear, this band was sent down from Central Casting. They’re exactly – EXACTLY – what you think of when you think of European metal. They’ve still got the melodic guitars, but they scream like everyone in every metal band was legally required to do at the turn of the century. Imagine going to your first concert, and seeing the first opening band, and the bald, glowering singer comes up and says, in a heavy Swedish accent: “This is from our album, ‘The Haunted Made Me Do it.’ It’s called Bury. Your. Dead.” If you wrote that scene in a movie about metal, people would think it was lazy and unoriginal. It’s pretty much exactly what The Haunted does every night.

Tool – “Parabola”

Oh for the days when children could still be traumatized by something on basic cable. Growing up, Tool’s early videos did just that. Now MTV is all horrible shows about people from New Jersey. Where’s the metal, you bastards?

Meshuggah – “New Millenium Cyanide Christ”

Yes it sounds like the song title was made on a Norweigan metal magnetic poetry set, but the timing in this song is unreal. The clear lack of a budget in this video makes them look slightly ridiculous, but rest assured, they will fuck your world up.

Hatebreed – “Last Breath”

Short and sweet. When you bought a Hatebreed album, you were lucky if it went past 30 minutes. I imagine it would be hard to produce this kind of aggression over a double album.

Okay, so we’ve covered Cuban music and screaming, fiery heavy metal. Next up: Everything else.

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